Income Report May 2021 - Middle Age Crisis Is Real

Welcome to my income report for May 2021

In May I have earned $76 passively in total. 80% more than in the previous month.

What I Did In May

May was pretty much uneventful. I was trying to catch up with my content schedule but without much success.

Middle Age Crisis Is Real

In May, I turned 35. You might think it is not a big deal, but it pretty much is. At this age, I already spent 80% of my life expectancy and half of my productive life.

As doctors say, when you reach the age of 40, you start living on health debt, because your body was not meant to exist for an extended period of time. And so you become to realize, that there are things you might once dream about, but you will never fullfil them in your lifetime.

Not because you didn't want it bad enough, but because there is not enough time. Take having kids for example. How many long-term relationships do you think you can have in your productive life?

I would say three to five, while most of them happening in your twenties. So you have three to five chances to find a soulmate, start a family, and have kids. That's almost an impossible task to do if you think about the western society we live in.

So if for whatever reason you miss the train with the first three relationships, the odds significantly get lower with each year. The dating pool shrinks very quickly for average people. And before you know it, you only attract single moms.

That is the harsh reality I woke into after surpassing my thirties. And it does not help to be cynical about life either, even if life turned out to be that way.

If someone says it is never late, those people already started their families at a very young age, and are trying it again with their second or third wives. Those were fortunate enough to have enough wealth to support the family, to have the place to live...

But what if someone is born broke, like me. Then there is a question of whether one should sacrifice now for the future because, under the illusion of youth, there should be plenty of time, later on, to achieve all those goals, that others, who are more privileged already achieved.

Also, we should not forget about responsibility. It is not responsible to have kids if you cannot provide for them. And more and more young people come to realize, they cannot afford to have kids anymore. With ever-growing inflation, housing prices, and emancipated female population. The odds are stacked against the traditional way of living, so why should we even try right?

Better to live in solitude, build our own future first, only then take responsibility for others. But this careful, apparently less risky approach is reversely riskier than it seems.  I thought I hedged my bets by being too much careful. But the opposite is true. I missed the big picture the whole time.

And this reality sets in slowly as you turn mid-thirties. You begin to accept, that there will be regrets in your life, that will stay regrets forever. Of course, you can always do compromises, but you will never have enough time required to achieve all masteries in the world.

So as you give up on dreams, all the goals you had in mind become meaningless. You want to work on something that lasts forever. Then you start thinking about leaving a legacy, because what is the point of reaching a mastery if you have no one to share the achievement with. That mastery will end with your existence unless you create a masterpiece that survives mankind, but that too much work.

The easiest way to leave a legacy is to pass the genes. Everyone does it, the government supports it, religions praise it, primal instincts call for it. Easier said than done though.

So a person, who does not yet have the priorities straight and have limited options, oftentimes inclines to substitutes, that partly temporarily fill the holes in their lifes. For me, it might be getting a driver's license and maybe buying a sports car. It won't solve any of the issues, but it will keep me busy and challenged for a while.

What I want to say is, as I age, it is harder and harder to find the motivation to put extra work into something, including this journey, that might not pan out, or won't have everlasting results or impact on the world. And instead, it is so tempting to just live a normal life, not trying too hard and settle into mediocrity.

But then again I would rather die trying than giving up. I have to accept my fate and keep moving forward, don't look around too much, and don't compare myself to others. That is the only way I can stay on course and not live in resentment.

Live projects

Good House Music

At the time of writing this post, it grew to 277 subscribers. A 5% increase over the previous month. I have uploaded 2 DJ mixes and only 7 new single tracks. The most viewed track recorded 86 views.

Managing to bust out two mixes reminded me, how relaxing and fun making mixes is.

It's like painting an art, where you put together decorations you think will look good together, and then you do your best. Sometimes you create a timeless piece of art, that you will enjoy years from now. Definitely worth the time and trouble.

I will keep uploading till I reach 269 uploads, then we will see if it is going anywhere.

Personal Youtube Channel #1

In May, I posted 2 new videos on my personal Youtube channel. My most viewed video posted in April got 95 views.

I tried to apply a new content format, that is less dependable on charisma and live performance and more on casual storytelling and editing. And so far, I like it.

Instead of winging it live for one hour and having to spend another 3 hours editing garbage, I still spend one hour on voiceover, but without the need of performing live in front of the camera. And while it still takes 3 hours to edit footage, instead of cutting garbage out, I am trying to edit more footage in, which results in a more enjoyable video.

I will keep uploading till I reach 246 uploads, then we will see if it is going anywhere.

Personal Youtube Channel #2

In May, I posted 3 new videos on my personal Youtube channel. My most viewed video posted in April got 65 views.

No matter how hard I tried, I could not keep two videos a week schedule. So I settled for one video a week or three videos a month minimum goal. I would have to go full time to keep my sanity and to not burn out from working 9-5 by day and making content by night.

Anyway, I will keep uploading till I reach 30 uploads, then we will see if it is going anywhere.

Financia

Apart from fixing various bugs, I didn't make any progress with the website. Finishing email alerts and adding new property types sucked all the joy from the continuous development I had so far.

I think taking a few month's breaks will help me in regaining the stamina I need to push this project further.

Income Report Breakdown

P2P Lending

Nothing has changed in May.

My P2P strategies are turned off and I am still waiting on the sideline. Most of the defaulted lenders are on an ongoing debt recovery plan, that will fulfill all the debts in the next ten years.

Savings Accounts

As of now, I still keep a small portion of money in savings accounts to cover my living expenses.

Stock Investing

When they say sell in May and go away, they mean it.

The beginning of the month was brutal. The market always dipped few hours before the open making new lows every day. I was nervous, but fortunately, the price always reversed to the original level.

Apparently, despite hyperinflation worries and overpriced stocks, the market still finds the power to climb higher. knowing that, I made few bets on some growth stocks which brought some pennies to my pocket.

I know it is not sustainable, and I am paranoically watching out for the next catalyst, that will bring needed correction.

The crypto on other hand went down by 50%, which was inevitable. I didn't buy the dip though, I just let my Algo take small losses. Not the best way to spend money, I know, but I just can't force myself to gamble.

Used Stuff Sales

My path to life minimalism went well in May. I got rid of few music ep singles and a tennis racket, the fewer material things I own, the more freedom I get.

Plans, dreams, and wishes

My goals for June are the following. Study for driving license, make Financia better, work on the authority website and Ecom site, and produce video content on regular basis.

That would be it. Thank you so much for following me on this journey and see you in the next report.